I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
