I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
