Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
