I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
