i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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