My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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