Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
