Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
