I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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