In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
