The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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