dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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