another moral hangover. fuck.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
