Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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