Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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