that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this beer tastes like vomit already
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
