I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
