I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he laminated a picture of his dick.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
