There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
