I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My dick has a subreddit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
