You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
