There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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