I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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