when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
