i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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