THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
