he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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