oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
