I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
