dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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