You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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