I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
