I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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