Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
