You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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