That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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