My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
