My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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