i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
