i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
