xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
