Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
