I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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