I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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