omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
