her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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