just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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