He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
