you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Found your dick twin last night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
