shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
