Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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