Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
